Fixation...

Why do people fixate on the 'normal' progression of relationships? Here's how it goes, according to our parents, Disney, and every issue of CosmoGirl out there...

Boy meets girl.
Boy and girl date.
Boy and girl get engaged.
Boy and girl get married.
Rugrats soon to follow.

What about the things before? In between? What about the people who don't fit this paradigm?

People go on and on about the divorce rate in America, and how it's so high. There are a lot of reasons for that.. education, for example. More equal treatment in the eyes of the law and society. Access to alternatives (doesn't it sound cold, referring to a 'new relationship' as an alternative?). And so on. But I also wonder how closely it correlates with the number of people who force their relationships into this timeline, when they really have no business doing so? And why do they expect other people to do so, too?

I think there's a huge gap between a sensible outlook, and a desire for social conformity. And I've seen it both ways. I've seen women (and men. JUST as many men) go on and on about how they want to get married some day, how they want to find their soulmate and raise a family. And I've seen men (and women) go on diatribes about how they don't believe in marriage or they have no desire to rush into this social dynamic just because people think they should.

Both camps miss the point.

It's not about 'getting married.' It's about who you are or are not marrying. A judgment that you want to be married or you never want to be married is complete bullshit, because a marriage (and the decision to get to that point) isn't a solo act. It takes two people. What you're really saying is that YOU do or do not want to marry that person, regardless of their own feelings. You're just trying to spare yourself the guilt of hurting theirs.

Marriage is not about 'completion.' Sure, there's something to the idea of soul-mates I guess, as people who match you so well it's startling. But I don't think this is just one person. What kind of evolutionary mechanism would that be? If it were the case, believe me, population problems in this country and globally would be non-existant. But if one significant other sees the other as critical to their identity as a whole person, well, doesn't that make love less than altruistic? They become needy of the other person. It's in their interests, not in the interest of the relationship, to keep the other happy. It's selfish. And what happens when both parties change, as so often happens? Rather than develop into his or her own person, the needy spouse now has to conform to what the other has become. Can we say resentment? No wonder the divorce rate is so high...

Read More...

Summary only...

Prodigal daughter. Or something like that.

The nice thing about a blog is, when I neglect it, it doesn't bug me. It doesn't complain that I don't call, write, or email. It doesn't nag about how we never do anything any more, or about how I didn't even notice it's new shoes. Or whatever.

So, in appreciation of how GradAdventures is still here, unvisited, unused, and taking up its own measure of space on the 'internets' I might just give it another go.

I'm back from vacation (see posts to come) and back to work, with my proposal due on Monday and my qualifying exam set for May 15. Last year, 5 our of 6 people failed.

I don't like failing.

Hopefully, it's not too late to make up for a year that was lacking in motivation. Who needs sleep? I just slept more than twelve hours a day for a week. God, it was great.

Read More...

Summary only...

Fire Rock Grill

Fire Rock Grill opened at the site of one of my favorite bars of all time, Last Chance Saloon, which folded several years ago: understand this was a real tragedy, because it was one of the last semi-gritty pub-type spots complete with pool, fabulously greasy and delicious bar food, and a beer list that would take months to work through. Sideshow threw me a surprise party there for my twenty first. There's history. So imagine the surprise (or maybe you can't, as I haven't got a before photo -- the surprise party was, to no one's surprise, a rather blurry night) when we walked in to find something a little more reserved, complete with a wine rack and a series of fishtanks in the middle of the restaurant. We had our choice of tables at 6:30 on a Saturday, but I have a feeling their busy hour comes a bit later.


A review I read from The Baltimore Sun gave it rough treatment. We went anyway.


We started off the evening with a round of drinks from a diverse list of draft beers that featured the traditional (Bud and Miller) alongside with some favorites (New Castle and Widmer Hef, which is pictured below), and a diverse list of bottled brews. This made Sideshow, who's resumed his interest in brewing, relatively happy and he jumped at the chance to try a Belgian-style ale. To go with the beers, we got gorgonzola fries.

These fries were fabulous: not even the questionable presentation of any object smothered in an odd, slightly off white cream sauce could deter enjoyment. Crispy and crunchy, the cheese sauce was light and flavored with minced shallot and some bright green parsley. These are the grownup version of cheesefries, what I was really missing all those nights of ordering in Danny's at college (click on the link at your own peril). They never stood a chance, though really the order should have been split between four people. We were glad the waitress forgot to bring the bread.



Then came the entrees. Sideshow's fish and chips were crispy and delicious, and the chips (there was an option of cut fries or potato chips) were light and packed a huge crunch. The most striking thing about them was a garlic butter type sauce that gave them huge flavor. Not at all overpowering to someone who loves garlic! I had a special, a filet of rockfish seared to crispy but still flaky and tender, put over what looked like a polenta cake molded with mushrooms, basil, roasted corn, and sundried tomatoes. Slices of colorful bell peper and leaves of wilted basil swam in a tangy, buttery lemon sauce that went really well with the fish. The only think I would have done differently is actually roasted the corn to give it some color -- it looked kinda like those mashed up kernels you see oozing in the slime that is canned cream corn, sans slime. But overall it was very enjoyable.

The food was delicious, though the fish and chips were a bit on the pricey side. I'm not sure if we'll be going back any time soon, but it was a nice, different dining out experience for us...

Read More...

Summary only...

Disappointed...

So, The Teach, Half-dozen, Sideshow, and I went to a new restaurant, oZ Chophouse last night, in hopes of finding a really good special occassion steakhouse spot. It was definitely no Ruth's Chris or Capitol Grille though their prices were close.

The atmosphere is really nice -- there's this big fake tree positioned in the middle of the dining room that really complements the hardwood decor and low lighting, and there was good music in the background. The waitress was ok -- not overly attentive, though, and she didn't have much by way of suggestions, nor did she seem all that knowledgeable about the bar selections. The woman who bussed our table and filled our waterglasses was much more personable.

The food was ok. Sideshow got rack of lamb, and I got the duck, both of which I thought were cooked well and very tender. The duck came with a potato/pear/fig hash which was actually very nice -- an idea I'd like to try at home. The broccoli was crisp and fresh, but the mushrooms were pretty bland -- even a little rosemary would have livened them up, but it seemed like most of the fresh herbs used were as garnish (which made no sense, in the case where my duck was served with a giant sprig of thyme, but there was no thyme to be tasted in the dish). The Teach and Half-dozen got steaks, which he could only describe as on par with one you'd find at Bennigan's. They were overcooked, poorly seasoned, and just not good cuts. This is all the more disappointing because steaks and custom cut filets are the specialty. Six's shoestring potatoes were french fries that tasted fresh out of our grocer's freezer. The one redeeming quality to the meal was the offering of a grilled caesar salad -- warm, crisp, refreshing. It was awesome, and another thing I'll be trying. But when you're shelling out big bucks for 'fine dining' (we do this about once, maybe twice a year), a good salad isn't sufficient for the experience.

Oh well. At least we didn't eat another meal at Rocky Run, though we did miss the Thursday Group.

Read More...

Summary only...

Rant: Before noon...

..all bets are off. Allow me to explain.

This morning I planned to bring breakfast in to lab, because I'm a nice person -- and because I canceled a meeting on short notice, and just needed to appease my fellow coworkers. Unfortunately, a tragic incident (I forgot eggs at the grocery store) made it necessary to buy breakfast rather than bake it, which is why I was running through the door of the Superfresh fifteen minutes before my bus was due, trying to pick up some delicious baked goods.

Needless to say, I was suffering from a critical lack of caffeine at this point.

I located the coffee cake in record time and with minimal incident, ran through the self checkout, and barreled out the doors -- which, as they were closing behind me, didn't prevent me from hearing one of the employees (there was like, one other shopper there, and he was no where in sight) comment: "Good MORN-ing."

Now let me make clear, I am not a morning person. I never have been a morning person. In all likelihood, I never will be a morning person. Best Friend and Roomie has been witness to the fact that I regularly pummel my alarm clock into submission via the snooze button over at least an hour. When I get up, I look like I've just gotten up -- I rarely do my hair or put on make up for work because I don't see the point, and I tend to walk around in a fog until I at least smell coffee. I am not my chipper wakeful self; however, I'm not rude. I say good morning to the neighbors if I see them. If I interact with someone, like the Dunkin Donuts Coffee Ladies, I smile, say thank you, etc, even the mornings when they put cream in my coffee instead of milk. Whatever. All is good. Like Sage Coworker says, anything productive that happens before twelve is merely a fluke.

I am not, under any way, obligated to say good morning to some stranger sitting on her butt several checkout lanes down, with whom I've had no reason to interact in the forty-six-point-five seconds I was actually in the store. I don't care if it's a beautiful morning outside. I don't even care if it's not all that early, like quarter to nine in the morning. I'm sleepy, and everyone with an attitude better get out of my way. Or at least, be armed with an extra 20-oz regular.

Read More...

Summary only...