...to fully appreciate the nuances of fine beverages. Today, however, I'm not speaking about wine, or scotch, or even beer. No, today I had the fine opportunity, brought to me by four quarters and a mis-pushed button, to sample CocaCola's new(er?), low-calorie energy drink, VaultZero. Spurred on by a sense of adventure (and the fact that I was too lazy to walk upstairs, get another dollar, and go down for a real soda) I decided to try this new concoction.
If you've never heard of Vault, here's a reference from Wikipedia:
Vault is a carbonated beverage that was released by The Coca-Cola Company in June 2005. Coca-Cola is marketing Vault as a hybrid with the slogan "Drinks like a Soda, Kicks like an Energy Drink," as well as "The Taste. The Quench. The Kick." and "Get to It." It is a citrus flavored beverage that contains many of the same ingredients as the Coca-Cola beverage SURGE, which was discontinued in 2002. Due to Vault's similarity to SURGE, representatives of Coca-Cola have given some credit for the release of Vault to SaveSURGE.org, a website community dedicated to bringing SURGE back to store shelves.
Before I continue, take a moment to appreciate the fact that there is a whole segment of the population devoted to returning a soft drink to supermarkets. Puts things like third world hunger, AIDs pandemics, and melting ice caps into perspective now, doesn't it? ...
Not having a glass to pour the VaultZero (vintage 2006) into, I was forced to evaluate it in the bottle itself. This particular vintage was clear, and as condensation on the outside suggested, quite cold. Twisting the cap off resulted in a satisfying hiss of released carbonation, and some bubbles appeared to compliment it's promise of thirst-quenching yumminess. Unfortunately when I held it up to the light, the drink appeared a familiar shade of day-glo green -- I can't tell how much of the drink actually gives it that effect, but clearly my rule of never consuming beverages that glow was about to be violated.
I allowed the VaultZero to breathe for a moment or two, then swirled it around and took in the nose. Some citrus smell, but over all not very aromatic at all. Then, the moment of truth: the taste test.
At first, it didn't taste like much, just cold and carbonation. A second later the citrus kicked in, followed closely by the taste of cough medicine. VaultZero rounds off with a sickeningly sweet aspartame finish. While I understand that soda isn't exactly good for you, I actually had to try and keep from cringing as I imagined the chemicals I'd just consumed. To say the least, I decided at this point not to move on to the food pairing stage of the tasting (carrots and ranch, cheetos, and a chocolate chip muffin).
Cola Spectator Score: -283.5
Icky.
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