29 November 2005

"Aw, I made myself sad..."

Firefox crashed after I wrote a whole big long post. :(

Ah well.

Maybe I'll re-write it tomorrow.

Bonus points to anyone who knows who said the quote in the title of this post!!!


28 November 2005

Finished! Phase I

Until today I was way behind the game. This time last year I'd pretty much finished my shopping, and did it all online. Go me! Not this year. This year, I really had to motivate myself. I tried to plan, and budget, make a list (Excel online templates=awesome) and so on, but my heart just wasn't in it. So I made myself go to the mall this afternoon when I found I had some free time.

I see you're cringing. If not, you should be. The mall post-Thanksgiving has traditionally been a nightmare. Lawnmower tried to go over the weekend and said it was mobbed. Children run around the mall spreading flue germs and headaches and the line for Santa is way too long. People are mean. I learned early to avoid it. Hence I steeled myself for a horrible experience.

Actually, I was there between three and six-ish and it wasn't too bad. No lines, no crowds.. Thank god for online shopping, I guess. I even got stuff I wanted, and didn't cause my credit card to spontaneously combust.

So now, all I have to do is... Phase II. I need some wrapping paper.


You suck the best.

Don't get all excited about that title, kids.

Today, I was watching TV when the Dyson vacuum cleaner commercial came up, and it reminded me of a conversation I had after watching it. Here's the gist of it...

Me: "Do you realize this guy has spent the last decade of his life figuring out how to make things suck better?"

Boyfriend: "Yes. And now he's worth millions."

Me: "How true."

So kudos to you, Mr Dyson man, well done.


24 November 2005

Happy Turkey Day!!

Click the Picture, and enjoy the holiday!


21 November 2005

Pathology, Round II

Well, we just had the second exam, and I'm tired. I studied hard, but not as well as I could have, and I didn't think it was a good sign to start when a classmate of mine walked in with a funny look on his face.

Me: "Hey, you ok?"

Him: "I just saw [The Mumbler] by the elevators, going down, and he asked what I was doing here."

Me: "Huh?"

Him: "Well, I told him I was here for the exam."

Me: "Is it not today? It's totally today."

Him: "No it is. He said it was at one o'clock."

Me: "Did you tell him his email said twelve?"

Him: "Yeah. He said he'd be right back."

The email to which I'm referring is one that the Mumbler sent out Friday night. After two days of messages, emails, and attempted visits by Alias, she finally managed to corner him at a party on Friday and remind him that we were still missing some information. You know, like where the exam was... when it was... that sort of thing. Nothing important. He was kind enough to send out the information then, along with a notice that all his questions would be taken from the book. Including the second half of the class, which he didn't teach, that was taught by a guy who told us all the questions would be from the notes, and we didn't have to worry about the details.

So, I spent all weekend worrying about the details.

Now I'm just tired. But I'm glad it's done. No more bullshit exams from this guy, he's only writing the histology part of the final -- and since we've all (literally) failed those sections in the last two exams, I'm not too stressed about that.


20 November 2005


Dating + Politics = scary.

At least, it's not photogenic.


Taking five

There are approximately nine hundred thousand words in the English language. To put this in perspective, Spanish is estimated to have 450,000 words, and French has approximately 100,000. But who cares about the French.

So why do people continuously make up words? Dr. Language has an interesting point of view on estimating the number of words we use, and why that number is so diffucult. We certainly have many ways to express ourselves, whether anyone cares or not. I've noticed, though, that advertising seems to feel we need more, and hence we've got a few words that just annoy me. For example:

Essuvee -- the clever phrase automobile manufacturers used when they decided to advise drivers on the special safety considerations of their vehicles. Rather than say 'this car can roll and kill you' they transform it into a cuddly little animation and teach you about driving a top-heavy gas-guzzling suburban that will, for ninety-eight percent of its owners, never get more off-road than a gravel parking lot.

'Gellin'' -- Ok, so that's not a 'new' word, but it's a new use. And there are only so many words that rhyme with this, and only so many times I can tolerate that commercial.

Smellovision -- one particular chef on the food network started using thise phrase, and now uses the same clever remark in every frickin' episode. And people laugh. It got old a while ago.

Comcastic -- whoever thought of that should just be shot.

But, I guess they do their job.

Back to studying for me -- round two with Pathology tomorrow.


17 November 2005

Yeah, I know...

So, I've been trying to refrain from posting about Lost (which is awesome) since that first one, but something's been bothering me and I'm hoping other viewers might be able to come up with a more creative idea. Here's the question:

Why does Goodwin have shoes?

Every time I've 'seen' the Others (I missed the first season,so maybe this generalization doesn't hold up) they don't have shoes on. In fact, I think it was Ecco (sp?) that says he can't track them because they don't leave footprints. BUT, from what I can tell of the taped episode last night, he's got 'em on.

Is he the only Other with shoes?

Did they take them off -after- the plane crash to avoid detection?

Why is this bugging me so much? :P


In need of a map....

Well, I had a nice long chat with my old Program Coordinator today, who currently heads the newer, revamped program in the graduate school. It was really good to speak with her, and she gave me some really good and honest feedback about my situation.

I guess I haven't really posted much about it here, and you all haven't had the benefit(?) of seeing me over my bad-day-bourbons, but the last year has been a little difficult because I've slowly been coming to the realization that I don't want to do this (research) for the rest of my life and I'm beginning to get impatient with working so hard for a degree I don't really need.

She helped put it in perspective some, though I think she gave me far more credit that I deserve. I'm going to stick it out for now, and at the same time try to pick up a couple temporary part time jobs to try and get a better feel for what I want to be doing -- something I probably should have done before getting into grad school anyway. I might be able to land one at a PT office, and there's a couple other things I want to try and do. So we'll see how it all goes. I know no job is perfect, but I'm hoping it's not too much to want to find something I can get really excited about doing...



Criticism of Voting Law Was Overruled
Justice Dept. Backed Georgia Measure Despite Fears of Discrimination

A team of Justice Department lawyers and analysts who reviewed a Georgia voter-identification law recommended rejecting it because it was likely to discriminate against black voters, but they were overruled the next day by higher-ranking officials at Justice, according to department documents.

The Justice Department has characterized the "pre-clearance" of the controversial Georgia voter-identification program as a joint decision by career and political appointees in the Civil Rights Division. Republican proponents in Georgia have cited federal approval of the program as evidence that it would not discriminate against African Americans and other minorities.

Yup. Cause the Federal government has never endorsed any such practice that might limit or restrict the voting abilities of certain groups in this country.

But an Aug. 25 staff memo obtained by The Washington Post recommended blocking the program because Georgia failed to show that the measure would not dilute the votes of minority residents, as required under the Voting Rights Act.

The memo, endorsed by four of the team's five members, also said the state had provided flawed and incomplete data. The team found significant evidence that the plan would be "retrogressive," meaning that it would reduce blacks' access to the polls.

A day later, on Aug. 26, the chief of the department's voting rights section, John Tanner, told Georgia officials that the program could go forward. "The Attorney General does not interpose any objection to the specified changes," he said in a letter to them....
Read more

The article cites the measures as a way to counter voter fraud, but the sources cited in the article present conflicting information as to whether or not the required IDs are carried equally by all groups of constituents. If not, should part of the measure be to ensure that everyone has the proper card? Will a person that hasn't gone to the MVA to get a license shell out twenty bucks for a special ID so they can vote? Twenty bucks can be a lot of money depending on your situation.

The article also states: "According to the Aug. 25 memo from the Justice review team, Georgia lawmakers and state officials made little effort to research the possible racial impact of the proposed program." In addition, the US census bureau reportedly states that in Georgia minorities are less likely than whites to have the required identification; however, Assistant Attorney General William E. Moschella defended approval with the assertion "that the state's African-American citizens are, if anything, slightly more likely than white citizens to possess one of the necessary forms of identification."

Is it just me, or do you think the current administration is just using these lame duck years to see just how badly they can piss people off?

State Rep. Tyrone L. Brooks Sr., a Democrat and president of the Georgia Association of Black Elected Officials, said he was not surprised by the Justice Department's position in the case.

"Some of my colleagues told me early on that, because of politics in the Bush administration, no matter what the staff recommendation was, this would be approved by the attorney general," Brooks said. "It's disappointing that the staff recommendation was not accepted, because that has been the norm since 1965."


15 November 2005

Silly personality tests


11 November 2005

Thought of the Day

Does anyone else find it sad that there's a generation growing up on the 'music' of people like Kevin Federline and Ashlee Simpson?


10 November 2005

South Park's Political influence

Talk about selective use of examples. I came across this on someone's blog, they used it to describe themselves.

It might just be me, but I'm not sure this is what Trey Parker and Matt Stone had in mind.


Moment of zen, part deux.

So tired. Just enjoy the pretty picture.


08 November 2005



Old Theme Songs and Shitty Relatives

Today I skipped swimming and headed over to finish some painting that needed to be done. I was about halfway done tha bathroom, trying to keep myself entertained, when I got a song stuck in my head. The theme song to Green Acres. How random is that?

After I was done, I headed up to the Exxon to get some cash for parking. While I was at the ATM, I heard this guy telling a cashier a story -- I missed whether he just heard it, or if it was someone he knew that was involved with this. In any case, the tale was about this woman who went to the convenience store to pick up some things for her mother-in-law, and used her mother-in-law's credit card to make the purchase. Included in that purchase was a winning lottery ticket for some insane amount, which the woman claimed.

The mother-in-law reported the card as stolen and the charge fraudulent, thinking she would receive all the money. The result? No one got the money. How awkward would family gatherings be after that?


06 November 2005


Going out to a bar with your friends is usually a pretty enjoyable time. You all meet up, eat some food, get a little (or a lot) tipsy, and everything is great. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you enjoy hanging out with these people, and consider them friends/buddies/groupies/whatever fits your situation. You like them.

But also, deep down inside, you want to see them cry.

Doubt me? Consider the range of drinks that have evolved for the discomfort of those who take them, and the humor/disgust of those who watch:

1) The Stuntman -- the Teach witnessed this little jewel the other night when she was out with some friends. It's basically a tequila shot, where you snort the salt, take the shot, and then squeeze the lime in your eye. There were guys in her group who wanted to take that shot more than once.

2) The greasy Mexican -- tequila and mayonnaise. When saying 'I hate you please don't hang out with me anymore' just isn't enough. Lote actually consumed one of these once. No one knew what the hell he was thinking.

3) The cement mixer -- Irish cream and Rose's lime juice; combine in mouth, shake head to mix, and enjoy the change in texture as the Bailey's curdles. Mmmmm. A similar drink, curdled in the shot glass and then taken, is known as a 'Writhing Maggot'

4) Buffalo sweat -- 1 part tabasco + 1 part 151 + the crap that gets squeezed out of the bar rag. Hopefully your tastebuds (and all the germs) will die from the first two.

5) Anything involving Red Bull. Nasty! What the hell are you people thinking?

While none of these are quite as heinous as the ones Sideshow managed to come up with during one of his early Hump Day Reports. they're sure to make at least one person in your party blow chunks. So remember, whether you're planning for next weekend or for the holidays, invite at least one person you don't like (or can get drunk enough to actually take one of the above drinks), and sit back at watch the fun. Just watch out for the couch.


05 November 2005

A pain in the neck

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but I work several jobs, the first of course being my graduate studies (so they're called). In addition, I still work for the company I've worked for since I was fifteen, teaching lifeguarding, doing lifeguarding, etc. And I coach swimming.

A few days ago, Scribbles asked me to go to a meet session to warm up his kids, at 6:30 in the morning. Yeah, I didn't know there was one of those either. But I haven't really worked many meets this year and I needed the money so I said sure no problem. I showed up, the kids warmed up (they were actually last warmups, so we could have slept in, but it was no big deal) and when Scribbles showed up I left. I felt so good! The sun was out and shining, it was a nice day, I could get stuff done, I was awake.

So obviously I went back home and slept another four hours. It was pretty wierd -- I kept waking up when I heard my roommates moving around the house, or people outside, and then I'd go right back to sleep. And I kept having this dizzy sensation just before I'd drop off to sleep. At the time I thought I was just tired.

In retrospect, it was probably the fact that an awkward body position was cutting off the blood supply to my brain. I woke up with a pulled muscle. And I wasn't even doing anything productive, like laying laminate flooring.

Now, this has happened before, though this time isn't nearly as bad. In fact, in June I did the very same thing and slept in a wierd position, and woke up with the most horrible pain I've ever felt. From sleeping. I spent most of the day curled up in the fetal position, wrapped in a blanket because it hurt so much I was sick. I couldn't even play with Meaty. And I have a pretty ok pain tolerance. When the end of the day rolled around, the Teach took one look at me and said: "You're still in pain? Clearly you need to drink."

So Scribbles came and picked us up, and we went out and got blasted, which actually worked. It was the only reason I made it to sleep. It was a lot of fun though, especially when I got to that point where my brain was telling me things hurt, but I wasn't really feeling it.

I finally went to the doctor when, two days into working, I couldn't sit straight in a chair, which led to one of those priceless conversations I can only have at a clinic in the city, where the doctor made the diagnosis and I asked for drugs. Ironically by the time I got the Super-motrin the pain was better.

Hopefully the ice I've got on my back will be sufficient this go-round.


04 November 2005

My Day....

Only without the subtitles.

(click on the comic)


03 November 2005


Man, I never see commercials like this when I watch TV.


02 November 2005

Graded on a scale of A to what?

Got the Pathology test back today - you remember, the one where the first essay question was 'What is the meaning of life and death'? Yeah, this class is getting kind of old.

Last week we asked about them, and the Mumbler told us he had good news and bad news. After about five minutes of us trying to tell him we wanted the bad news first, he finally got around to saying they hadn't been graded. The good news? That we passed. Ok? Cool? Enter this week.

The test was actually two tests, because half the material was taught by one guy, and half by another. So it was sitting for two different exams. On the second part, I got an actual number score, and a letter grade. What you'd expect.

Apparently the two didn't communicate.

The Mumbler told us he didn't give us grades. He made comments, checks and Xs, and took off "1/4" or "1/2". However, he didn't say what he was taking one fourth or one half from. No concept of what each question was worth, or what the difference was between Very Good, Good, and Ok. No point totals. No letter grade. He didn't make any marks to say a right or wrong answer on a page with pictures of histology slides that we were supposed to identify. When we asked him, he told us that 'he had a grade set for us in his head.' And, here's the kicker, the end of the course would be an opportunity for us to see if the grade we think we deserve matches the grade he thinks we should get.

Now I ask you.


On the up side, the presentation went good. Ironically, he criticised my lack of pointer, and told me I shouldn't turn my head toward the screen while I was talking. Good advice, but hard to take from a guy who spends most of the lecture talking as coherently as a drunk at a bar.


Real American Heros

This is an awesome post from PlatKat.com that I saw a few weeks back and meant to link up here. Enjoy!

Today I want to show my appreciation for a grossly underrepresented portion of the blogging population: Ostentatious Female Sex Bloggers.

Man, there just aren't enough of those! I'm sure all those people who don't blog about sex everytime they have it, wish they'd had it, or plan to have it probably aren't having sex in real life at all. Those losers aren't nearly as exciting and adventurous as you gals.

What better way to show how out-of-control but extra-insightful you are than to talk about a subject that is so extremely taboo in today's society? And since you're so outspoken and uncensored, the best way to show it is to write about sex as much as you can! How will the rest of the world know that you're free-spirited and willing to try anything if they can't read about your sexual escapades on your blog every day?

Usually, everyone is so shy on their blogs. They might talk about the weather, or maybe their 17 cats. Some people even blog about boring stuff like politics and finance–who cares about those?! There are also humor and newswatch blogs... That stuff is okay, but it's really not the edgy material most people are looking for when they need to feel validated despite their vacuous lifestyles. Where else could the few, proud sex enthusiasts find a forum to make cutesy, sycophantic comments for you to answer in a sexually suggestive way?

Luckily, the world has you, Ostentatious Female Sex Blogger. It's obvious that you can handle a lot more than a keyboard and mouse, if you know what I mean! You've been out living the fast life for years and you definitely show no signs of slowing down!

With all the humility and chastity flooding the internet these days, it's so refreshing to find bloggers who "keep it real." In this age of talk shows, reality TV, and tell-all interviews and books, it's so hard to find a woman who really wants to come out of her shell and honestly talk about the S-word.

Speaking of S's, I must say to the younger generation of Ostentatious Female Sex Bloggers, using the letter "z" instead of "s" to make nouns plural and purposely mispelling simple words like "love" really capture the essence of your truly unique and "street" personality. Anyone can follow those constricting rules of spelling and grammar that have kept our language from becoming a series of grunts we utter at one another when we're hungry. But you're original! You spell words your way because you're unique and cool!

Anyway, I'm just so glad the world has this captivating group of women who like to write all about their one-night stands and casual flings. They obviously take great pride in their accomplishments and really care about contributing to the greater good. And let's not forget, anyone can just have sex, or write about sex, or whatever, but these are Ostentatious Female Sex Bloggers, and they write about sex intelligently.

So everyone, support your favorite Ostentatious Female Sex Blogger. Let her know that you respect her choice to bang four dudes in one night and that you appreciate her candid synopsis of the event! If you don't give her kudos on her forward thinking to justify her deliciously salacious acts, she just might stop committing them. Then what will you do during your next dry spell? Read a porno mag? Of course not! That's dirty!

Happy Wednesday everyone, halfway through the week!


01 November 2005

Happy Halloween!

Yeah, so I'm a day late. Life got away from me a little bit this weekend.

This holiday was pretty quiet for me. We went out over the weekend, but last night the Teach stayed home to give out candy while me and Evee went and helped teach a guard class with Scoot, Serp, and the Sailor. The class was ok -- small, and there's definitely one or two kids that don't seemt to care. Maybe the rule about test out* will still apply this year. On the way out of class, Evee experienced a drive-by egging, though they pretty much missed her and her car and hit Scoot's instead. They threw like a bunch of girls. (Actually... it was a car full of girls. Stupid bitches.)

Saturday we went to a wedding for a girl I've known for a good ten years. It's going to be wierd to call her by her new name, but the wedding was fun, and the reception dinner was excellent. Unfortunately, Sideshow and I hit an Uno's during the three-hour gap between wedding and reception, and the greasy food had one of us feeling pretty poor. After the wedding, we went into DC to visit Sideshow's sister (nickname pending for when I'm more creative), and then eventually headed home to get some rest before working on his place the next day.

Long weekend.

Plans for a Ladies' Night are starting to go into effect, maybe at some point I'll have some details and photos to throw up here.

*when I started, the 'rule' was that if an instructor gave a student a bloody nose (ie, caught the guard not doing something like protecting their face in a rear rescue) the Sailor would buy them a sixpack. I've never actually seen this put into effect.