28 October 2005

Livin' the Dream

When I was a little kid, I couldn't wait to grow up.

My parents gave me a lot of freedom in high school (miraculously, it didn't end with me getting arrested), but I was still ready to get out on my own for college. After the first year, I was done with living in a dorm with five hundred other people and sharing a bathroom with fifty, and ready for my own place. In May of this year, I finally moved out into a house with two of my friends.

Yup, livin' the glamorous single life.

I got my job, I go to the gym, I mow my lawn, we throw parties. Exceptionally glamorous. I fully realized this when I went grocery shopping the other day. My last year in college I took an anthropology/archaeology class, and one of the activities we did was looking through bags of 'trash' (rinsed out cans, bottles, wrappers, etc that my professor had collected) to try and make guesses about the culture of the people who'd generated the trash. Another drill was emptying our pockets onto our desks and going through them, saying how the contents describe us (try it and leave your comment below. I need some entertainment) I decided to play this game with my grocery bag.

Hot dogs, chocolate, and Bloody Mary mix.

I stopped there.

Yup, that's me. Livin' the glamorous life.


23 October 2005


I was entertained.

But then, I guess it doesn't really take much.


The stupidest thing I have ever heard.... today.

This morning, I turned on my TV, and I was doing the channel jumping thing. I hit CNN just as they were airing/laughing about an SNL spoof on their storm coverage. I guess they were genuinely laughing, who knows. But in any case, they switched to the storm watch guy, who said ("laughing"):

"We're out there trying to save lives, and this just doesn't make it easier."
That is officially the stupidest thing I have heard, today. My day hasn't even started, and I know that I will not hear anything more inaccurate or ridiculous for the next fifteen hours.

No one who has ever watched a news broacast, particularly from an area of disaster could honestly believe the reporters are here to help. They're there to get a story. Maybe win a prize for their ability to report on the horrific event without smiling at their good fortune for being in the 'right place at the right time.' (Edward R Murrow award, here I come!)


22 October 2005

The reality of war hits home.

I haven't been doing much blog-reading the last few days; now that I'm back in action, no doubt I'll flood this one for a week with posts, then get ADD and go play outside or something. But for now...

I stumbled across this on The Blogger Cooler tonight.

This is part of a Belgian Unicef ad, designed to show the effects of war on children. I guess for kids, it's more real to see your favorite TV characters blown up than actual people? Note the Smurf running around with his head on fire, that seemed especially realistic...

I don't think this ad will be very effective here, considering the last time I mentioned The Smurfs to members of the younger generation (11, 9, and 7) they had no idea what I was talking about.

Culture gap. So sad...


Good Night. And Good Luck.


I went to see this movie this afternoon (sorry Half-Dozen), because I felt the need to procrastinate all weekend. And, despite the horrible traffic, the rain, and the fact that I was surrounded by senior citizens who walked, talked, drove, and moved slowly, I really enjoyed it. Not only was it a view of the past, but it was echoed modern day concerns. It had all the elements of those classic, old films, too.. shameless smoking, drinking, and cigarette ads.. old news clips of McCarthy's speeches.. the image of the hard, gritty newsman working out a story on a typewriter, and hiding his fear of the reprecussions of his challenges with a scotch.. that low, slow, jazz.. everyone walking around with glasses that look like the Mexican's. The audience (average age, 75; I was probably the youngest person in the theater) kept laughing at all the references they tossed out that I guess I'm a little too young to get, but all was well.

David Strathairn (Edward R Murrow) did a phenomenal job capturing his newsman persona -- little things, like the nervous twitch of a foot just before the broadcast, really helped get his feelings across, and the transition from scared citizen to assertive editorialist (is that a word?) was very powerful. I really recommend this movie, it's a nice departure from a lot of the normal crap that gets churned out for most of the year.


19 October 2005

Round One

Well, I just finished both exams. I felt ok about Stat, but not so great about Pathology. It could have something to do with when I turned to the long answer questions, and saw this:

31. What is the meaning of Life and Death?


On a more humorous note, I ran into Alias in the computer lab just before the test, where I was blog surfing (I reached my breaking point with the studying around 12:15) and she was cramming in last-minute knowledge. She started updating me on some drama that's been going on in her lab, and was finishing up a story about a woman she works and a now-medical student who used to work in the lab. It wasn't a bad story, just about how the med student hated this woman apparently, but Alias never knew. In any case, just as we turned the corner, we saw the woman Alias works with standing by the elevator. Alias was a little surprised, but played it off well -- until the med student walked past us and to the next hallway (she was behind us I guess). The perfect situation of what can happen when you talk about people -- at least the story didn't really make Alias look bad.

Anyway, I'm going to go home and crawl into bed until Lost. Happy hump day everyone, go have some fun!


18 October 2005

Have YOU hugged a tree today?

I was driving home today, with my windows down and moonroof up, looking at the trees that were just starting to change color..... and then I realized that it's October. And it's still nice outside. This seems like a much warmer fall than normal, not that I'm really complaining, but it seems like a moment for some serious reflection.

I read that 2005 might be the warmest year on record, and the hurricane season -- for the first time in sixty years of American record-keeping -- is about to spill over into the Greek alphabet. Are movies like Day After Tomorrow (no, I couldn't get my money back) becoming a reality? Are we (the unaware public) beginning to see the effects of Global Warming?

Despite all the evidence* piling up for or against global warming, it's hard to really get a grasp on the concept if you're not well-versed in the right fields. Sure, pollution is on the rise, and the smog around the city looks really gross, and I burn way more easily than I did before... but what exactly does that mean? Is it really something to worry about? Are we burning through resources and hurtling down a path that will eventually melt the ice caps and submerge everything under water?

With the advent of hybrid cars, smart solar technology, and energy efficient appliances and home modifications, we should all be doing our part to help save the environment. Stop killing off all the furry little animals. Stop cutting down the rain forest -- there's a cure, out there, somewhere. Cut back on fuel use, aerosols (don't huff, it's bad for the planet), and all that stuff that is elevatin carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere. In fact, cut back on breathing. Ready.... now! And of course, for the love of god, help preseve our dwindling population of pirates.

I hope I've given you all something very serious to consider. After all, if you don't care about the planet, who will?!??

Now, I'm going to go pour deisel into my hummer and do some donuts in a local wildlife sanctuary. Maybe I'll hit some hippies on the way.

*=top two links I clicked on when I googled 'global warming'


The Colbert Report

Last night I watched the first episode of the Colbert Report, the latest Daily Show spinoff. While I wasn't quite as disappointed as I was with the office... it wasn't so great. I'm really hoping that they're taking the first few weeks to figure out what works, what doesn't, etc, cause I think Stephen Colbert's really funny... it was just a long thirty minutes. A couple things I didn't really care for..

1) The intro music. It sounds like it wants to be the Daily Show theme, but everyone's playing it at different times -- it's a lot of noise.

2) It didn't help that during a conversaton with one of his crew members, the camera angling in on the crew member caught the teleprompter in the background, and you could read their conversation as it was going on.

3) Is it a news show? He only mentioned one... maybe two... current events headlines. There's a ton of stuff he could have covered, humorously, that weren't victims of the Daily Show Report.

4) And those headlines were mentioned in some segment called 'The Word', where I guess he invents a word and then goes off on a rant about it? I didn't quite follow, though parts of that did make me laugh.

5) The interview was a little wierd, but entertaining. I think Stone Phillips was wondering why he was there...

I hope they work out some of the kinks, cause like I said, I think the show could be really funny. I'll have to watch for a few weeks, and see how things go.


17 October 2005

Ow, my brain.

I don't really have anything for you all today, so entertain yourself with this for a little bit.

Enjoy, look for a post when exams are through :)


15 October 2005


I found this as I was going through my notes. It's the Mumbler's response to his own question, which was something to the effect of 'How do you know that this slide is of an normal or abnormal lung?'


His answer? "This is not a normal lung, because they don't really take out a normal lung to take pictures of it."


Nasty Hobbitses

Well, Evee (second roomie) and I are pretty much in shock. One of my bosses in my part time job just got 'asked to leave the company.' He told us at Happy Hour today, and I really feel for him. The whole thing is ridiculous. Even people like Half-dozen (who's been around for years and seen all kinds of stupid shit in our place of employment) were shocked.

This guy hired me when I was 15 to the company. It's impossible for most of us to imagine the place without him, just from what he did that we could see.. all the training, staffing, etc. And then there's all the stuff he does that no one else can do. Poor Evee is going to have a hard time -- everyone in the office is.

Apparently this has been coming for a while, with an internal investigation into 'improving the efficiency' of the department. It's just a shame they chose to fire the guy who makes decisions and cares about the staff, rather than his boss, who is wishy-washy about a lot of the issues that come through, but has a better 'people' personality.

I hope he finds another job soon, and I hope they really appreciate what he does. Things'll certainly be different now. A whole bunch of us are due for certs that they may make us pay for, which at least for me will mean an end to teaching lifeguarding after 4 years. Though it doesn't surprise me, it bothers me, that a sleezy VP (I've met Veep many many times, and I swear he's the skeezy version of Bilbo Baggins; we call him 'The Hobbit') with no sense of how things actually work could make such a short-sighted decision..


14 October 2005


Hey, want to never be excited about eating again? Click Here.


13 October 2005

Satisfaction Guarunteed..?

So, today I had a break between classes which was meant to give us a chance to make our study sheets for statistics. I was perusing the online classifieds in search of new employment (Adventures of a Waitress... Adventures of a Staffing Systems Analyst... they didn't have the same ring). True to form, ADD kicked in a few minutes later and I looked through the 'pets' section, even though I can't have a dog unless I move to a new place, or back home.

The house is too empty without a puppy. :( I really wanted this guy, from Petfinder who got rescued because whoever owned him let him play in traffic. Poor Oscar.

Anyway, here I was reading through the ads, until I came across the following:
Over 50 breeds to choose from!
3 year warr, microchipped, complimentary vet exam. Financing avail. Because-I-won't-give-them-free-advertising of Fairfax
Now, I understand that pet stores are horrible places to get dogs, and that people shouldn't encourage sale of cats and dogs through them, and that their first interest is money and not always what's best for the dog. But I was still pretty shocked at that... "3 year warr." If you have a dog, I hope you understand my reaction... A warranty for your puppy?! And how exactly does that work? Return it if it whizzes on the carpet? Call in to customer service if it barks too much? Do they have trouble-shooting? It's a dog! You're supposed to love them and they're supposed to be a member of your family. My parent's dog, and Sideshow's dog (both my dogs) are like people! That would be like taking out a warranty for your child!

Actually, I bet I'd consider returning a kid over my dog. Kids cry too much and grow up to crash cars, drink illegally, and waste time in college -- not necessarily in that order. Ask my parents, they had six. Most dogs with behavioral problems are made to be that way, it's not their choice. People on the other hand, as has been established many times in this very blog, are just stupid.

I feel bad for the puppies. :(


11 October 2005

Political tendencies...

Funny, because five-ish years ago when I registered to vote, I considered myself a conservative. Amazing what a couple of years can do.

You are a

Social Liberal
(78% permissive)

and an...

Economic Liberal
(25% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Strong Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid


10 October 2005

Are YOU prepared??

The second week of October marks Squirrel Awareness Week, an obscure celebration of diversity with one main objective:

Squirrels must die!

That's right. These animals are not just cute lil' furry creatures that jump from tree to tree, collect nuts, and make crunching sounds under your tires -- these are rodents. And you can be sure they're out there, plotting something evil, right now. I know this is true, cause I've seen them do it on a commercial. Where did these little bastards come from, and how are they currently planning our demise?

Several theories have evolved as to where the squirrel came from, from 'Darwinian theory', to creationism and real scientific ideas. But whatever their origin, they're clearly up to no good. During the course of my thorough research (I googled) I came across the following statements, which I know are reliable because I found them on the internet:
Many skwerlhuggers believe that, someday, a nice squirrel from Heaven will come to set everything "right." They say these are the final days before Skwerlaggedon. Thus, we must embrace Orthodox Skwerlhuggery and the false promises of squirrel world domination...

...the bushytail horde advertises itself as harmless vegans content to nibble delicately on nuts and berries... but they are, in fact, drooling, slavering omnivores... and in some cases, predatory, carnivorous assassins.
Squirrels are responsible for havok everywhere -- just a small number of things I found included...
Damage to cars, homes, and property (they get in people's walls!)
Mental distress (I hit one when I was 15)
Attempted hijacking of a plane
Stealing street drugs for personal use
The moral decline of society
Voting George Bush into office
Clearly, it's time to fight back! So be alert, be on the ready, and look for more information on how to be prepared for
Squirrel Awareness Week


35040 Hours

...give or take a few. Very few things are still as good after that long, among them being...

Good wine
Your favorite book
McDonald's fries (..they look the same...)
Me and Sideshow

That's right, four years ago today I started dating a wonderful man who:

Is thoughtful, intelligent, honest, and caring
Tolerates my caffeine highs and study lows
Supports me in everything I try to do
Makes even bad days better just being there
Is a great cook (Mmm, ribs)
Takes pride in what he does
Isn't afraid to take risks
Knows me better than anyone
Has great taste in puppy dogs
Values his family and friendships highly
Poses with me in front of fountains on our vacations
Helps with yardwork so I don't lose a limb to the chainsaw
Loves sushi
Laughs at my dad's jokes
Is very creative
Speaks his mind
Can do almost anything he sets his mind to
Has a great sense of humor
Shares tons of common interests
Can quote Futurama or Family guy on command
Has always been there when I needed him

Happy Anniversary honey, thanks for always giving me a reason to smile. :)


09 October 2005

In short

Well, evidently I survived my cold. It seemed the cure was hot tea and chicken fingers, chased with a lot of beer. Who knew?

The weekend in short:

  • Happy Hour Friday, introducing Sideshow's parents to the fine animated masterpeice, SouthPark.

  • Alcohol Mecca Saturday morning.

  • Eat Taco Bell for the first time in... a long time.

  • Regret it.

  • Set up and prep for party all day Saturday.

  • Go through party with bum tap on the keg.

  • Crash and recover from party.

  • Spend all day Sunday at family event.

  • Come back and try to do some work.

  • Give up and start blogging.

  • Hope you all had a nice weekend. :)


    07 October 2005

    You! Out of the gene pool!

    I need to stop reading the news. It just makes me angry how stupid people are. I'm not going to even quote the articles anymore, I'm just going to bang my head against the wall.

    It's people like this, who require a warning label on dairy products telling lactose intolerant people not to eat them, that are evidence that we need some chlorine in the gene pool.


    06 October 2005


    Day 1 of me being sick with cold: moderate success.

    I'm going to nuke it with orange juice and chicken soup tonight and tomorrow.


    05 October 2005

    Headline news: Suggestive Items at a Lingerie Store

    Skimpy Underwear, Ample Commentary At Tysons Corner
    Shoppers Appalled, Transfixed By Racy Store Display at Mall

    From The Washington Post.

    Tongues were wagging. E-mails were flying around PTA message groups and church listservs. People who heard about it came by to take a look for themselves. The issue was tiny underwear -- women's fine lingerie, to be exact-- and how it should be displayed on lifelike mannequins in the newest wing of one of America's biggest malls.

    "Little Shop of Whores," huffed one woman standing outside the new Victoria's Secret in Tysons Corner Center. "Slut wear," declared the father of a teenage girl, looking at a feathery-thong-clad mannequin bent over as if she were adjusting her spike heels.

    "I love it," said another woman with a bag of fresh purchases.

    The store was doing a brisk business yesterday as shoppers walked by, some nearly snapping their necks as they caught a glimpse of what the mannequins were wearing and their suggestive poses.

    "Well," said Steina Rubin of Bethesda, "I find it just totally disgusting." And, no, she would not be shopping there. "I'm not entering a whorehouse," she said. "I come to the mall with my daughter. It's disgusting. And I'm from Europe!" (italics from article)

    I've shopped at Victoria's Secret for years, and I love it. It's a lingerie store. It sells underwear. It sells pajamas. It sells clothes you wear when you're going to get some, but people also wear the underwear when they just want to feel pretty, or sexy, or anything else.. Apparently, to some people, this is news.
    spokesman for the mall management company said "many" complaints had been received. "The comments we receive from our customers are valued and appreciated," a spokesman said in a statement, adding that the mall management had shared the comments with Victoria's Secret.

    Shoppers were certainly sharing their comments with one another outside the store.

    "I've shopped here for 10 years, and I won't come back until they change the window," said Joe Cowden of Vienna.

    "I walk the mall. I've been walking the mall for nine years," said Jana Spencer, 53, of Vienna, who said she has three grown children. "This is shocking. This is semi-pornographic. This is insulting."

    Some shoppers said they have an issue not with what the store was selling but with the proximity of the displays to the mall's public areas.

    I don't know how long Joe Cowden will be able to stand bikini-cuts purchased from Target, but I guess it's not so surprising that people are upset about a display that suggests sex. Of course, walking around with your kids (who obviously are all virgin births) doesn't advertise 'Hey, I had sex!' Maybe people are offended at the idea of sex as enjoyment? It's very puritan of them.
    "My 13-year-old daughter is going to come here and shop for a bra?" said Mary Lynne Carraway, 40, of McLean. "Come on. I'm appalled. That's like sending her to a street with a strip joint. Is this the kind of message we want to send to our children, that this is what they should look like?"

    Good idea. Protect them from Vicky's Secret, and they'll definitely be fine -- not counting those images they see in magazines, movies, television, advertisements, and (gasp!) the internet..

    Is it that much easier for people to make a big stink about something like this, than to actually sit down with their kids and talk about being an adult, and the responsilities of sex?


    Oktoberfest at the Renaissance festival

    This past weekend, we went to the RenFest to celebrate Scribble's birthday, and it was all that it was last year -- an afternoon to eat and drink all we wanted, and an evening to regret it. But it was a beautiful day, the shows were funny (Hack and Slash, and Johnny Fox), and the beer and food were very cheap.

    I was also surprised at the selection. Sure, there were the traditional smoked turkey legs and steak on a stake, but you could also get real, authentic, Renaissance chicken fajitas! We also enjoyed the Renaissance Oysters on the Half Shell (Renaissance and Oysters being two words that don't really belong in the same sentence). Somehow, sushi and fondue didn't make it on the menu. Lawnmower threw some axes and shot arrows, and Sideshow gave some serious thought to "body art." We found a sword that was taller than the Teach, as well as tons of the latest (earliest?) renaissance fashions, including a chio chainmail tie (nothing says classy like iron neckwear) and chainmail g-strings (the automatic cure for dry-humping).

    Though it's been so try we ended up inhaling about a pound of dirt, good fun was had by all. Maybe next year, we'll make it for Pirate Weekend.



    I hate over-achievers.

    The professor for my Pathology class asked us to come in and talk about these specfic aspects of inflammation. He didn't want a presentation, all he said was, "Just talk."

    So thats what I did. Silly me. The other two people presenting with me had full-blown powerpoints with special effects, histology slides, extensive background, and two slides actually addressing the topic we were supposed to cover. Me and my looseleaf paper didn't have a chance -- good thing I can be adult about it.

    I hope that took up their whole weekend.


    03 October 2005

    Lawnmower vs. The Mighty Momo

    So a few weeks ago, Lawnmower and I went out with a friend of mine I'd known for years, who's now moved to Boston. Just before eighty long minutes of historically accurate Disney (friend's sister picked it out), we decided to meet for dinner in the mall. Imagine our surprise when we got to the pizzaria and saw their featured drink:

    (Momo: one of my four-lettered nicknames)
    (Mighty: an adjective commonly used to describe me, along with awesome, beautiful, and goddess)

    Now this fit in rather nicely with our strategy to get relaxed (liquored up) just before enjoying (getting through) the movie. Having had my own Tequila Death experience, I was happy with saying "Oh how cool" and ordering myself a beer. Unbeknownst to me (it was a big table, ok?) Lawnmower ordered up her own Momo, some how missing several facts:

    • A margarita is easier to drink on the rocks, rather than frozen. (in my opinion)

    • The waitress asked, 'Are you sure?' when Lawnmower ordered the drink

    • The drink came with a warning label:

    Can't quite read that? In our booze-ordering frenzy, neither could we. Let me enlarge the relevant portion:

    Seem blurry? Imagine the view after the drink. It was when the concoction arrived that we discovered it was actually served in a trough. Observe with Lawnmower for scale:

    They even put little animals on the rim, so by the time you've reached the end of the drink and the start of the drunken-asshole stage, you can introduce your own choking hazards. Between Lawnmower, myself (tequila makes me vomit), and friend's sister (not a drinker) we only made it about this far:

    Shameful I know. But doesn't it look scary up close? In any case, next time we go, we (and by we I mean Lawnmower) will be better prepared for the task. We (and by we I mean Lawnmower) will be trained up to take the Mighty Momo Challenge...

    And even if we fail, at least the crappy ass movie we're supposed to see will be infinitely better.