Satisfaction Guarunteed..?

So, today I had a break between classes which was meant to give us a chance to make our study sheets for statistics. I was perusing the online classifieds in search of new employment (Adventures of a Waitress... Adventures of a Staffing Systems Analyst... they didn't have the same ring). True to form, ADD kicked in a few minutes later and I looked through the 'pets' section, even though I can't have a dog unless I move to a new place, or back home.

The house is too empty without a puppy. :( I really wanted this guy, from Petfinder who got rescued because whoever owned him let him play in traffic. Poor Oscar.

Anyway, here I was reading through the ads, until I came across the following:

***PUPPIES PUPPIES PUPPIES***
www.the-name-of-this-store-has-been-removed.com
Over 50 breeds to choose from!
3 year warr, microchipped, complimentary vet exam. Financing avail. Because-I-won't-give-them-free-advertising of Fairfax

Now, I understand that pet stores are horrible places to get dogs, and that people shouldn't encourage sale of cats and dogs through them, and that their first interest is money and not always what's best for the dog. But I was still pretty shocked at that... "3 year warr." If you have a dog, I hope you understand my reaction... A warranty for your puppy?! And how exactly does that work? Return it if it whizzes on the carpet? Call in to customer service if it barks too much? Do they have trouble-shooting? It's a dog! You're supposed to love them and they're supposed to be a member of your family. My parent's dog, and Sideshow's dog (both my dogs) are like people! That would be like taking out a warranty for your child!

Actually, I bet I'd consider returning a kid over my dog. Kids cry too much and grow up to crash cars, drink illegally, and waste time in college -- not necessarily in that order. Ask my parents, they had six. Most dogs with behavioral problems are made to be that way, it's not their choice. People on the other hand, as has been established many times in this very blog, are just stupid.

I feel bad for the puppies. :(