06 November 2005


Going out to a bar with your friends is usually a pretty enjoyable time. You all meet up, eat some food, get a little (or a lot) tipsy, and everything is great. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you enjoy hanging out with these people, and consider them friends/buddies/groupies/whatever fits your situation. You like them.

But also, deep down inside, you want to see them cry.

Doubt me? Consider the range of drinks that have evolved for the discomfort of those who take them, and the humor/disgust of those who watch:

1) The Stuntman -- the Teach witnessed this little jewel the other night when she was out with some friends. It's basically a tequila shot, where you snort the salt, take the shot, and then squeeze the lime in your eye. There were guys in her group who wanted to take that shot more than once.

2) The greasy Mexican -- tequila and mayonnaise. When saying 'I hate you please don't hang out with me anymore' just isn't enough. Lote actually consumed one of these once. No one knew what the hell he was thinking.

3) The cement mixer -- Irish cream and Rose's lime juice; combine in mouth, shake head to mix, and enjoy the change in texture as the Bailey's curdles. Mmmmm. A similar drink, curdled in the shot glass and then taken, is known as a 'Writhing Maggot'

4) Buffalo sweat -- 1 part tabasco + 1 part 151 + the crap that gets squeezed out of the bar rag. Hopefully your tastebuds (and all the germs) will die from the first two.

5) Anything involving Red Bull. Nasty! What the hell are you people thinking?

While none of these are quite as heinous as the ones Sideshow managed to come up with during one of his early Hump Day Reports. they're sure to make at least one person in your party blow chunks. So remember, whether you're planning for next weekend or for the holidays, invite at least one person you don't like (or can get drunk enough to actually take one of the above drinks), and sit back at watch the fun. Just watch out for the couch.


Evil-Jesus said...

Greasy Mexican?

Holy dear lord...

mrshife said...

Red Bull and a shot of Crown, a Chili Bomb. It is not that bad, but I will most likely pass on the greasy Mexican.