30 May 2005

The Move

Today I got the keys to my new home (the search for which has been a process undocumented in my blog). Because I'm renting, I don't think those actual words are as exciting as they otherwise sound. But it's still pretty cool, and has given me an excuse to spend a ridiculous amount of money, and browse constantly through various Home stores.

This, of course, includes a shopping trip to Ikea.

This might not sound shocking at first, particularly if you're not aware that I would rather get a root canal than go to Ikea. In fact, I was considering selling my right kidney to pay for a dresser at Room Store, but then I decided I was rather attached..

If you've gone to an Ikea before, you'll understand me, particularly on a weekend. If not, here's an excerpt from a New York Press article (which was coincidentally ranting about a new Ikea eliminated jobs and tearing down civil-war era architecture in a NYC neighborhood)

"In Western Europe, it is estimated that one in 10 inhabitants today were conceived in Ikea beds, brand passion that has helped vault company founder Ingmar Kamprad to pole position in the race among the world's richest men. In England, 33 million customers during 2003 visited an Ikea outlet, producing road traffic in "epic" and "horrendous" volumes, authorities across the British Isles report. The volumes have led to at least one Ikea sale-day riot in which 27 people were injured." (hyperlinks added)
Out of control.

The first time I went to Ikea, I was not prepared. Upon entering, I was handed a map.

A map.

There should have been a sign instructing me to carry SOS flares, pack a week's supply of food and water, and
notify my loved ones to send a search party if I wasn't heard from in three days. It was horrible. I couldn't find anything, I made the mistake of trying to follow the signs (This way to Exit.... what the hell am I doing in Children's Furniture), and the salespeople were rude.

But I needed a dresser. So I sucked it up and drove out there.

It wasn't that bad. It still took me two hours to get through the store and the crowds, navigate my way through the signs (this isn't the exit... tricked again!), and make it to the self-serve area where I realized I written down the location of every peice of furniture I liked EXCEPT the dresser. Fortunately I found it, because if I had to backtrack through Ikea again, I would not be sitting here writing this post...

The dresser I found I actually liked ok. It might even last the whole year, and it's bigger than the one that would have cost me 250 from target.com (shipping....). It came in two boxes, each of which weighed approximately two hundred pounds. After the first box made it onto the cart, a guy wandered past and decided to keep me from injuring myself, which was obviously going to happen anyway when I tried to get the boxes into my tiny little Dodge. Instead of waiting for me lift with him, he just hauled the box onto the cart himself.

I hope his back is ok. He was a pretty nice guy.

So what did I learn from my experience?
    •I still hate going into Ikea.
    •They do have some cool stuff for very reasonable prices.
    •People who shop at Ikea are a unique crowd.
    •Someone stole my shopping cart.
    •Those boxes are staying in the back seat of my car until I can get some sucke nice guy to help me. :)

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