25 September 2005

Designer condoms

This is an actual MSN news story, linked here

Chinese rubber company begins marketing condoms with Clinton, Lewinsky brand names

BEIJING -- A rubber company in China has begun marketing condoms under the brand names Clinton and Lewinsky, apparently seeking to exploit the White House affair that led to the impeachment of America's 42nd president.

Spokesman Liu Wenhua of the Guangzhou Rubber Group said the company was handing out 100,000 free Clinton and Lewinsky condoms as part of a promotion to raise consumer awareness of its new products.

He said that after the promotion ends, the Clinton condoms will go on sale in southern China for 29.8 Yuan (US$3.72) for a box of 12, while the Lewinsky model will be priced at 18.8 Yuan (US$2.35) for the same quantity.

"The Clinton condom will be the top of our line," he said. "The Lewinsky condom is not quite as good."
'Not quite as good?' As in, it wall influence you to call people you barely know and chat about your illicit exploits? As in, it comes lubed with liquid cement? I don't know if the government of one of the most populated countries in the world should be dispensing second-rate jimmy hats..
Liu said the company had chosen to use the Clinton name because consumers viewed the former president as a responsible person, who would want to stress safe sex as an effective way to prevent the spread of the HIV virus.

"The names we chose are symbols of people who are responsible and dedicated to their jobs," he said. "I believe Bill Clinton cannot be unhappy about this because he's a very generous man."
Because when I think Clinton and Lewinsky in the same sentence, I think about people who are serious about their jobs.

Other condom ideas that never quite got off the ground:

  • The CIA Lifestye - because loose lips sink ships

  • Voo Doo Rubbers - use the red pins for extra spice

  • The Wendy's condom - where's the beef?

  • Biodegradeable Trojans - environmentally friendly

  • Slimjim Lifestyles - snap into a slim jim!
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